The cycle Begins

So, the month is half over... In China adoption world that means I am glued to my laptop. I check Rumor Queen hundreds of times a day (thank God she's back!!) and I read all my favorite blogs and yahoo groups several times a day. What am I looking for you may ask. A glimmer of hope. Usually the rumors start off good; somebody hears that a speed up is about to happen or this will be the month where the CCAA will get farther with referrals than expected. After 14 months of waiting and the wait has only gotten longer you would think I have lost all hope. Nope, not yet!! I will spend the next 15 days thinking it is still possible for me to get an August referral and then referrals will come out and I realize we will be lucky to have Lily home by Christmas. I'll be sad and frustrated for a few days and then I focus on something else for a few days and then it is the 15th again!! The cycle feels like it will never end, but I know that our month will come and it will be our turn to see our daughter's face. I will not lose HOPE!