Saturday, January 26, 2008


2 years ago I thought that by January 2008 we would have had Lily home for a year. That is certainly not the case. We still have many months left on this journey and quite a journey it has been! So, 2 years ago China logged our dossier into their system and we have moved through the review room and now we sit somewhere in limbo. We know they have looked at our Dossier and luckily we were asked no questions. Our file is hopefully in the matching room but nobody knows how long it will take for us to be matched to our daughter. Over the past 2 years I have hit my lowest lows but I know that one day I will have my daughter home from China and all 3 of my children will be under one roof. I really hope I will not be celebrating a 3 year LID anniversary, although I know a lot of people who will. I have prepared myself for not getting a referral this summer and that we will be delayed by the 2008 Olympics. Overall, I have come to a "sort of" peace about this wait. I will be forever grateful for the gifts this wait has given me; patience, compassion, new friends, and for truly understanding how blessed I am to have 2 healthy boys! I will be a better mom to Lily than I would of been 2 years ago. Lukcily, I have the pleasure of spending the day at a wedding with some of our best friends so there will be something to celebrate!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Winter vacation

We just got back from a few days away. We went to Sunday River, in Maine, for a little family vacation. Patrick and myself got on skiis for the first time in 6 years and the boys spent a lot of time in ski school. My legs are still burning, Shea can officially ski and Bryce has no fear of skiing but stills need to learn the whole stopping thing! It was a great 3 days away and I even managed to stay off the computer for most of the time. This was definitely something that would have been much harder to do with a little one with us so it was nice to take advantage of the time we have with just the boys. Shea was a star and by the end of the 3 days he was able to ride a chairlift and ski down the mountain. I was teary eyed watching him come down the mountain. I LOVE to ski and haven't done it in so long and have lots of memories skiing as a kid with my family. It was so hard to believe that MY son was skiing with me! Bryce was a trooper and did well in ski school but still needs to learn the art of stopping. We did take him up the chairlift but getting down was no easy task. Having a 40 pounder between my legs was not easy! Enjoy the pics..

Shea and I at the top of the mountain

Bryce coming down with the help of the instructor.
Here comes Shea.. second from the back.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Nursery

I need to blog about something "happy" because rumors in "China adoption world" are just bad, bad, bad!! I will not even get into them right now because nothing has been confirmed true. At the point I am planning for summer 2008 without Lily. Anyways, back to good things. Right before Christmas Pat finished painting the walls and I LOVE the color. I still need curtains, a book case, lamps, and a few other things but we have plenty of time for all of that. So here are the pictures. What do you think??

Friday, January 4, 2008

Getting Uglier

I found out last week that the cutoff for referrals was December 19th 2005. It has taken me a week to be able to write about this because I could barely talk about it. For the first time in 2 years I had real doubts if we were doing the right thing. Is waiting another 6 - 9 months the right thing? Is Lily in China? After our waiting meeting last night and seeing the "99ers" visit with their girls I was reminded that we really don't have a choice, we have to wait because Lily is in China and we have to bring her home. I KNOW we were meant to parent a child through adoption, I KNOW there is a reason for this journey, I KNOW our daughter will come home to us and our family will be complete. I DON'T know how much longer we will have to wait, I DON'T know what to say to people when they ask "how much longer?", I DON'T know how to survive the rest of this wait without being sad and angry. SO, I need to figure out how to do the last part. I need to figure out how to be a better person during this wait, I need to do this for my boys and for my husband! They deserve a better me. The CCAA is 38 days away from our LID but if they continue with 3 day and 5 day batches per month we are still 6 - 9 months away from our referral. Right where we started 2 years ago. So, looks like I need a new project to keep me busy or even better, a vacation to keep me mind off of the wait!