After our waiting meeting last night and seeing the "99ers" visit with their girls I was reminded that we really don't have a choice, we have to wait because Lily is in China and we have to bring her home. I KNOW we were meant to parent a child through adoption, I KNOW there is a reason for this journey, I KNOW our daughter will come home to us and our family will be complete. I DON'T know how much longer we will have to wait, I DON'T know what to say to people when they ask "how much longer?", I DON'T know how to survive the rest of this wait without being sad and angry. SO, I need to figure out how to do the last part. I need to figure out how to be a better person during this wait, I need to do this for my boys and for my husband! They deserve a better me. The CCAA is 38 days away from our LID but if they continue with 3 day and 5 day batches per month we are still 6 - 9 months away from our referral. Right where we started 2 years ago. So, looks like I need a new project to keep me busy or even better, a vacation to keep me mind off of the wait!
Friday, January 4, 2008
Getting Uglier
I found out last week that the cutoff for referrals was December 19th 2005. It has taken me a week to be able to write about this because I could barely talk about it. For the first time in 2 years I had real doubts if we were doing the right thing. Is waiting another 6 - 9 months the right thing? Is Lily in China? 
After our waiting meeting last night and seeing the "99ers" visit with their girls I was reminded that we really don't have a choice, we have to wait because Lily is in China and we have to bring her home. I KNOW we were meant to parent a child through adoption, I KNOW there is a reason for this journey, I KNOW our daughter will come home to us and our family will be complete. I DON'T know how much longer we will have to wait, I DON'T know what to say to people when they ask "how much longer?", I DON'T know how to survive the rest of this wait without being sad and angry. SO, I need to figure out how to do the last part. I need to figure out how to be a better person during this wait, I need to do this for my boys and for my husband! They deserve a better me. The CCAA is 38 days away from our LID but if they continue with 3 day and 5 day batches per month we are still 6 - 9 months away from our referral. Right where we started 2 years ago. So, looks like I need a new project to keep me busy or even better, a vacation to keep me mind off of the wait!
After our waiting meeting last night and seeing the "99ers" visit with their girls I was reminded that we really don't have a choice, we have to wait because Lily is in China and we have to bring her home. I KNOW we were meant to parent a child through adoption, I KNOW there is a reason for this journey, I KNOW our daughter will come home to us and our family will be complete. I DON'T know how much longer we will have to wait, I DON'T know what to say to people when they ask "how much longer?", I DON'T know how to survive the rest of this wait without being sad and angry. SO, I need to figure out how to do the last part. I need to figure out how to be a better person during this wait, I need to do this for my boys and for my husband! They deserve a better me. The CCAA is 38 days away from our LID but if they continue with 3 day and 5 day batches per month we are still 6 - 9 months away from our referral. Right where we started 2 years ago. So, looks like I need a new project to keep me busy or even better, a vacation to keep me mind off of the wait!
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3 comments:
Hey Melissa,
I completely understand how you feel. I, and other China families, know how stressful the wait is. All I can say is hang in there and keep your chin up. Lily will be home soon.
Just think, you will most likely have waited 1/2 the time Brock and I will wait.
Erica. =)
I feel for you and all the other waiting families..My daughter is included as her lid is 2/17. There is nothing to do but carry on and live your life 1 day at a time, taking all the happiness you can for your families sake. This to shall pass and your daughter will be your arms and your family complete in the right time. My prayers are with you and so ae the prayers of many other people..Linda
We are hanging in there together! Hold on, the journey will be exciting and very blessed. Keep in touch.
Alyson
LID 01/27/06
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