15 months

Today is our 15 month LID anniversary, yup 15 months of waiting. Hopefully we do not have another 15 months of waiting! Rumor has it that referrals shoudl be here next week but it looks like it will be another small batch and that will only set us

further back. I am resigned to a 2 year wait and anything earlier will be a pleasant surprise.

I watched American Idol last night and of course I cried through most of it. It was the "GivingBack" show and they raised money for children who live in poverty around the world. It is unimagianble that we have children in the US that live in the conditions that look like a third world. The show also spotlighted the orphans in Africa. I wish there was more that we could do. One day I would like to volunteer in orphangaes around the world and hold as many babies as possible. As I watched the show last night I could not help but think of Lily and hoping that she is being kept warm, fed and most importantly being held. No matter how hard this wait is for us it is harder on all the babies.

Common questions

I have been getting a lot of questions lately about the adoption and I thought I would discuss a few of them.
Are you still waiting???
Yes, we are still waiting and we really have no idea how much longer we will wait. We were told a 6 - 8 month wait from our LID but it has been 15 months. I think we will be lucky to travel before Christmas. Our LID is 1/26/06 and I am preparing myself for a 2 year wait.
Why is the wait so long?
There are lots of reasons that I believe the wait is so long but I will give a quick rundown on what I think the top reasons are. Basically there are not enough "paper ready" babies. When a child is abandoned in China they can only be internationally adopted if they are placed in an orphanage that particiaptes in IA and not all orphanages do, in fact only a small percentage of orphanages do. A child needs to have certain paperwork completed in order for CCAA to refer that child to a family. Right now there are more people "in line" to adopt from China than there are paper ready babies and that is because China became a popular country to adopt from when the wait was only 6 months. Unfortunately there are lots of orphans in China but China will only allow a certain number of children to be adopted internationally each year. It is believed that less children are available for IA becasue domestic adoption from within in China has increased and abandonement in China has decreased. If less children are being abandoned then that is truly a wonderful thing but unfortunately there are hundreds of thousands(China has quoted 600 thousand) of children in orphanages right now and that is what makes this wait the most difficult. I know there are babies needing homes but I have to wait util our date of 1/26/06 comes up. Righ now the CCAA has matched families with dates up to 10/26/05.
"You must be so angry at China"
No, I am not angry at China! China is my daughter's birth country and they are allowing me the opportunity to raise one of their children. No country has to participate in IA, but China does and I am thankful for that. They are giving 10,000.00 families a year a child and that is the best gift I will ever receive!
Why does Angelina not have to wait for her children?
Angelina Jolie has adopted three children. From what I have read she has gown through the same process as everybody else. When Angelina adopted from Ethiopia there was no wait and adopting a 4 year old boy from any country is a much shorter wait than an infant girl. If people decide to adoprt becasue Angelina and Brad do then that is one less child in an orphanage and I am all for that!
I hate to ask...
People tell me they hate to ask about the wait. Never be afraid to ask about the wait, it is something I think about all day long. When you do ask, just be emphathetic and don't say, " is this really going to happen?" or "are you still doing that?" Of course we are still adopting and yes we are certain that in the end we will receive our daughter and the one that was meant for our family!
Is she going to be three by the time she arrives?
Probally not. We requested an infant girl and that means China will refer us a girl under 2 years old. We do not get matched until right before our referral so it is not like our daughter is sitting in an orphanage getting older by the day as we sit here and wait. Most likely our daughter will be between 8 - 15 months old at the time of referral and then we travel 2 months later to bring her home. I would love to have Lily home for her first birthday!

Found this on someone else's blog (Thanks Susan) --thought it was fun. Copy, paste and complete then send me a link if you want.

A is for age: 33

B is for Beer: I like all kinds but some of my favorites are Corona, Sam light and Pumpkin Ale

C is for Career:Special Education Teacher (Autism specialist)

D is for my Dog's Name: No pets

E is for Essential Item I Use Everyday:Internet!

F is for Favorite T.V. : Grey's Anatomy and American Idol

G is for Favorite Game:To play: Scattegories; to watch: Football

H is for Hometown:North Attleboro

I is for Instruments I Play:No musical ability at all!

J is for Favorite Juice: Orange

K is for Whose Butt I’d Like To Kick:Tom Criuse, used to like him but now he's a controlling weirdo!

L is for the Last Place I Ate:Chili's, where I had to leave with my 3 year old throwing a good ole tantrum!

M is for Marriage:Married almost 8 years to my highschool sweet heart

N is for my Name: Melissa or Missy if you have known me since my college years or before

O is for Overnight Hospital Stays:Twice when my kids were born and then this past February when my youngest had his tonsils out.

P is for People I was With Today: my kids and my friend and her kids.

Q is for Quote:"You are what you do when it counts"

R is for Biggest Regret: Not traveling more before I had kids.

S is for Sport: I played field hockey in high school but now I would say running

T is for Time I Woke Up Today: 7:00

U is for Current Underwear: Green, Cotton

V is for Vegetable You Love: Butternut squash

W is for Worst Habit: Not
screwing caps on tight - my husband hates this!!

X is for X-rays I Have Had:None unless you count dental

Y is for Yummy Food You Ate Today: Fried dough, I just came back from a carnival!

Z is for Zodiac: Aquarius

Crib

I finally bought a crib. Not that I needed one because I have one from the boys, but I had to have a white crib for Lily! I have been looking for a while and found one on craigs list. It is practically brand new so it's in really good condition. I wish I could put it together but since we are moving I figure I should wait. I can't wait to get the nursery started, even if we still have a while to wait! Over the weekend we saw a few newborns and that really got Shea thinking about Lily. He has been talking about Lily all day; can he sit next to her in the car, can he help give her a bath, and telling me he will be in charge of Lily. We started this process just about 2 years ago this month so that is a very long time for a 5 year old to wait for his baby sister!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I love this song. I saw this video posted on another blog and I thought I would add it to mine. When I hear this song I always think of Lily and I can't wait to make a video using this song and her pictures. If you listen to it think of all the orphans in China and that they be united with their "forever family".

It's official!

The CCAA updated their site last night. They officially matched 2 days worth of dossier's. This just plain stinks! There are officially only 3 months worth of Log In Dates before our 1/26/06 LID. I have no idea how long it will take but either way I'll be ready when our day comes. I am really trying to stay positive and maybe things will eventaully speed up! I think that once November is matched there will be a slight speed up because November is suppose to be a big month with lots of dossier's. I also heard that referrals may come out early next month because the CCAA closes for the May holiday (I think the first week in May) so we should hear about referrals at the end of April. I can only hope that the Wide Horizons family with a LID of 10/28/05 will be matched next!

Happy Easter

All the cousins. So Cute!

Family of 4 but we can't wait to be a family of 5!

I have recoverd from the shock of the 2 day referral batch , although it was not easy. A patient husband, good friends, a few drinks and most importantly my two beautiful boys got me through the worst days so far in this wait. I can only hope that next month more referrals are sent but I know that our day will come and we will have Lily when the time is right.

We had a nice Easter and it was so fun having all the cousins together. The kids really love each other and they were so excited to meet their newest cousin Addison. They all loved the egghunt and I couldn't help but picture Lily running around in her Easter dress next year collecting eggs!

Meet The Robinsons

We received an e - mail from the director of our agency about the movie "Meet the Robinsons". Her thoughts are very interesting. I actually saw the movie with the boys and I had no idea it was about adoption. I learned a lesson and that is I really should find out what a movie is about before taking kids!

The movie is filled with extraordinarily inappropriate messages about adoption. The basic story is about an adorable baby whose birthmother leaves him on the doorstep of an orphanage. Portrayed as loving, sweet, extremely smart and overly appealing, he spends the next 12 years of his life wanting a family and being turned down by one family after another. In all, more than 100 couples refuse to adopt him. One scene shows a prospective dad losing interest in adoption because this very smart little boy is more interested in science than sports. The prospective parents leave the disappointed child in an angry huff when he accidentally splatters them with some food from his science project. This is supposed to be funny.
Since no one else wants him, the child invents a time machine in order to go back in time to find his birth mother. The "bad guy" in his time travel journey turns out to be his best buddy from childhood, once his orphanage roommate. Now an emotional wreck resulting from being left behind when the orphanage was closed and shut down, the once-cute orphan is now mean and devious. Another chuckle. Various monsters attack the child as continues his birth mother search. You get the picture!
I found "Meet the Robinsons" to be both tasteless and totally insensitive regarding adoption issues. Please think very carefully before taking your child to see it, whether adopted or not. You may want to preview the movie yourself before deciding whether your child chould see it or not. At the very least, help prepare your child by letting him or her know about the adoption theme before seeing it. It is important for our children to know that orphanages no longer exist in the U.S. and that the adoption process is totally different from what is portrayed in this "pretend" movie. I will write the Disney Corporation to let them know about my concerns about their flippant way of dealing with issues that are extremely important and not funny for millions of adoptees and their families in this country and around the world.

So Not Good

The rumors were out there that the CCAA would only give referrals for 2 - 3 days but I refused to believe it. Then my ususal very quiet agency sent an e - mail confirming it. This is absolutely devestating for those October families expecting rerferrals this month and it has made me numb. Right when I think I have a good idea when our referral will come it gets pushed out again. I am not in a good place right now and I am just so sad for all of us in the China Adoption Community. I have to belive that our day will come but it is so hard not knowing when and being disapointed 15 straight months! I feel bad for my boys because they deserve a happy sane mommy but this wait is just draining me. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe I'll be able to put today behind me but I think it's going to be a tough couple of days with a few tears shed!

Welcome Addison Faith!

My sister delivered a beautiful baby girl yesterday at 6:31 AM. Addison Faith weighed in at 8lbs. 7 oz and 20 inches long. She is the little sister to her very excited big sister, Olivia Grace. We are so excited to welcome the newest addition into our family.

No news on referrals for this month. Hopefully we will hear something this week. I am praying they finish up referrals for the month of October 2005 and then we can move on to November. The good news is that families from our agency have an October 28th LID so they should be getting some good news very soon!!

Welcome to the roller coaster!

Rumor had it that referrals were sent on Friday and that agencies would be receiving them today. There were some agencies saying referrals were made into November, which would be great news because it is expected to take at least 3 months to get through November 2005 referrals. Once the CCAA gets through November then I feel like we are will be so close. We also have made some great friends who have a LID of November 30th so we are also very excited for them. OK, back to the rollar coaster... I was very excited on Friday to know we would know something today but unfortunately nothing happened. I feel for everybody expecting referrals but they will hopefully see their daughters face by the end of week. Just to add to the drama the new rumor is that the CCAA may not even finish October this month! So I have no idea what will happen this month and all the excitement I felt this weekend is now gone. I really should stop riding the roller coaster and ignore all the rumors because it just gets harder every month. Of course I am off now to check Rumor Queen because I just can't stay away!